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It Only Takes a Second

This is an essay I wrote two years ago for my college class and I think it is important for people to read this piece.

It Only Takes One Second

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

                                                                                                –Jeremiah 29:11

People who barely know me do not know I have a twin sister. She and I are like two peas in a pod—inseparable. Although we go to two different colleges, it does not take away from the time we have shared with one another in the past. She is my best friend and will always be despite our constant bickering. I had often thought what life would have been like if I wasn’t born a twin. Since last weekend, I wouldn’t want anything different. She is my twin and we are connected in a way no other sibling is and that is how it should be. We have done everything together up until college. Now we are trying to find our own individualities. My life could have been different early Saturday Morning, February 11, 2012, when my sister almost died in a car wreck. I don’t know what I would have done without her. God has a plan for everyone. He knows when each person is born into the world as well as leaving the world. He knows and only He knows.  Life is fragile and can be taken away less than a second. In less than a second, someone’s world could be flipped upside-down. Thankfully mine wasn’t….

It was strange…

Normally, on a Saturday morning, I wake up around 8:30 AM but, for some unknown reason, I woke up around 10 AM on February 11th, 2012. I went downstairs and noticed my dad was making breakfast, so I said, “Woke up late too?”

Unfortunately, his answer was not what I expected….

He said, “Not really…You’re sister was in a car accident early this morning.”

I swore my heart skipped a beat.

“Is she okay?” I asked him but he instead of saying ‘Yes’ or ‘No,’ he says, “She’s in the family room with your mother.”

Fearing the worst, I ran into the family room and saw my sister hugging my mother for dear life. When I saw her, a weird sensation washed over me.

I say the only thing I could think of at the time. “Are you okay?!” When she doesn’t answer, I ask again as I start crying. Let me tell you one thing, it was the weirdest cry in the world. It certainly wasn’t a graceful cry or a quiet one; I can’t really describe it in any other word except for ‘weird.’

My sister can attest to that (she loves to rub it in every once in a while when we look back to that horrible day).

Luckily, she did not have to go to the hospital and only escaped with minor bruising and cuts. You could call it luck, but I call it God. If it weren’t for His protection, she would not be here this very moment and my life would have flipped upside-down. She doesn’t particularly remember what happened; only that it was snowing in great multitudes and couldn’t see the road. She realized she was off the road when the wheels hit a gravel driveway. By the time it took her to escape this death trap, it was too late. Assuming from the damage of the car, it rolled down the hill and crashed into an electric pole. The car was completely totaled. Her purse had flown out and fortunately landed somewhere safe. Her glasses were destroyed from the impact but thankfully she wasn’t. From what she told me, the pole snapped in half and the house she was near lost electricity. Thankfully, the house’s family heard the crash and called the police. They even offered her to come in out of the cold but she was too panicked to try anything but get out of the vehicle and call home. Luckily she didn’t get electrified when getting out of the vehicle.

We received a call around 2 A.M. in the morning. My mother just knew it was Kristen. Daddy answered it and Kristen sounded hysterical! He called the city police and headed out for my sister. Mom couldn’t go because she was still recovering from her surgery and my brother and I were asleep. They didn’t want to wake us and lose the sleep we college kids desperately needed. Our city police called back and said that officers were already at the scene taking care of it. Thank goodness! It took four hours for the mess to be cleaned up and the road was completely blocked off. She did not need to see a medic but only needed to come home to be with her family because we almost lost her that morning.

When I asked her what happened, this is what she said:

I was driving along Scott Troy Road and could barely see anything. If I knew the roads were going to get this bad, I would have either stayed the night at a friend’s house or have come home early. I knew the instant I was off the road when I felt gravel under the tires. All I remember is hitting a poll and then rolling down a hill. I cannot tell you word for word what was happening because, in reality, it happened way too fast. I just remember seeing the pole and the impact. Luckily, I didn’t hit the house behind it but, instead, ended up taking out their electricity. I thought I was going to die.

Kristen was thankful she didn’t die that morning. Later in the day, around noon, my dad and my sister went to the tow truck place to retrieve all items they could find that were in the car. The tow trucker said the exact same thing the police had said early in the morning. “I have never seen an accident this bad where the driver has walked away alive.” Three of the four corners were completely destroyed. The only corner unscathed was the corner with the gas tank. That is a complete miracle! It only takes one second for someone’s world to end. That’s how fast life can be taken away. I’m just glad it wasn’t her time yet. Like I said, God has a plan for everyone. He knows every single living person’s life span. I just thank the Lord that it wasn’t Kristen’s time to leave. He still has a plan for her. Logic says there was no way she should have survived. But I’m glad she did.

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2019 New Year’s Resolution

2019 New Year’s Resolution
DISCLAIMER: THIS ORIGINALLY STARTED AS A VENT ON FACEBOOK BUT TURNED INTO A RANT.
WARNING: Personal sob story below. Reader’s Discretion is advised. 

start-line-3449607_1280Will there ever be a point in my life when I’ll actually feel like I actually “belong” to something? No matter what I do, who I hang out with, where I work, I always feel like there’s a wall between me and everybody else. Separated by something invisible but very real.
 
Maybe I just have a lot of trust issues stemmed from various occurrences during my life. Maybe it’s because I’m always seen as “different” because of my hobbies and upbringing. Maybe it’s because I’ve been an introvert for most of my life and can’t seem to venture outside of my comfort zone to actually consider myself a part of some group. Maybe it’s because I’ve felt ostracized from other people / social groups in junior high and high school because I wasn’t “friend” material to my classmates.
Maybe it was because I was never invited to high school parties because I was seen as an uncool, partypooper kind of person (because I was against underage drinking and drugs). Maybe it’s because the people from my youth group days were jerks who often pushed people (me included) away just because we’re different than them. Maybe it’s because the group I once thought I was a part of didn’t invite me to a barbecue outing – which the only reason I found out was through Facebook when someone posted pictures of it. Maybe, just maybe, it’s a little bit of everything that seemingly “went wrong” in my life to make me feel like I have to have that wall in place in order to “attach myself” to other people / groups.
 
If that wall is in place, then I can’t get hurt right?
 
Wrong! Just because I feel like there’s a wall between me and everybody else, it doesn’t mean I am protected from the hurt and feelings of abandonment that comes with it. It’s strange, really; I want to be a part of a group of people, to have more friends than the little amount I have, but at the same time, I self sabotage myself, thinking of any reason I can why these groups don’t want me in the picture, when, in reality, I’m the one who’s holding back. I’m the one who refuses to get close to anybody, any group, anything.
 
It’s a constant struggle. A constant battle. If I’m not upset because I feel left out, I’m angry at myself for not taking risks. And yet, at the same time, I begin to hate myself because it’s easier to process. If I hate myself, then I can understand why others dislike me too. But even then, after I’ve brought myself as low as I could possibly go, I start to feel guilty for hating myself. And, every once in a while, I will find something that helps me out of that dark place (usually a book or a tv show), but eventually, those uplifts are temporary. Then the cycle continues.
 
Maybe if we didn’t treat people as outcasts, then people like me won’t have to feel so dejected all of the time. I’m guilty of judging others because of my trust issues, but I’m going to work on trusting a little bit more for my New Year’s Resolution.
 
I’m going to first start trusting God more. I’ve been led down certain paths in my life for reasons I can’t yet explain, but I have faith that God can and will one day reveal to me what plans He has in store for me in His own time.
 
Jeremiah 29:11 has always been my life verse since my senior year of high school. Maybe it’s time I start reminding myself of it.
 
Secondly, I’m going to try harder in trusting my family more. Trust that my parents know what’s best even though I don’t want to hear their wisdom. Trust that my siblings will do what they say they will do and not have a cow when what they’re going to do isn’t done right away.
 
Thirdly, I’m going to try trusting my peers more. I have always burdened myself with projects from the classes I’ve been taking or from work because I haven’t been able to trust anyone else to do them. (Most of the time it’s because I’m the only one who ‘knows’ how to do them), but I think trusting my peers will take a hell of a load off my back.
 
Last of all, I want to be able to trust myself again. Trust myself that I am fearfully and wonderfully made by God. Trust myself that my quirks are not to be ashamed of but to be embraced because there can only be one me. Also, I want to learn to trust myself to change and to change for the better. Trust myself to lead myself down a path of righteousness and not stray when tempted. But more importantly, I want to trust in loving myself again.
 
Maybe if I can accomplish these goals throughout the new year, I’ll start feeling better about myself and not angry at the world for every little thing that bothers me. I strive to be a free spirit one day, and hopefully, I’ll get there.

Brief Movie Review – “The Greatest Showman”

RATING:  ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ (10/10)


Untitled-1Last night, I went to the theaters with my sister and mother, and we were blown away with “The Greatest Showman.” Everything from the music to the production was outstanding, and I applaud everyone who made this movie happen. Such a great feature. 🙂 There was even an ovation at the end of the movie by the audience. If you haven’t had the chance to see the movie for yourself, don’t listen to any of the negative reviews because really, that movie was one of the best movie musicals I had ever scene. Perhaps even since “Chicago.” 🙂

Hugh Jackman (Les Miserables) and Zac Efron (High School Musical) have improved greatly in their singing; I was thoroughly impressed. Music aside, the story was magnificent, and the choreography – to die for. The actors (and probably their stunt doubles) made it all look so easy! I wish I could dance the way they did, because WOW. So magical! ♥

If anyone was disappointed with the fact that the movie is set in the 1870s and was coupled with music seemingly from a more contemporary pop background, then let me ask you this: If this bothers you about this fantastic feature, then, pray tell, why do so many people enjoy “Hamilton?”

If you ask me, anachronism is EXACTLY what makes “The Greatest Showman” GREAT. It blends very well with the overall theme of the movie where the unorthodox find a home and a family in which they feel welcomed without judgement and eventually find the strength they need to be proud of their differences instead of ashamed. 🙂 In the same respect, the use of contemporary music in a film about a time that predates it’s existence brings conviction to the movie, enforcing the same ideal of strangeness finding comfort in dissonance.

I give this movie TWO THUMBS WAY UP!


Originally posted on my Tumblr blog.

A little about Me

Wow! It’s been a while!

I almost had forgotten about this wordpess until I wrote a review for my Tumblr blog and thought, I should add this to my WordPress blog too!

Any way, if you’re still following me from way back when, OR if you’re new, here are a few things about myself:

  • Favorite CURRENT TV show: CBS Scorpion
  • Favorite PAST TV Show: BATB (2012), Charmed, Numb3rs
  • Favorite Anime: A three-tie between Yu Yu Hakusho, Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood and InuYasha
  • Favorite Manga: Rurouni Kenshin + the ones mentioned above.
  • Favorite Korean Dramas: Strong Woman Do Bong Soon, Moon Lovers, Heirs

You can find most of my posts from 2014 to present on my Tumblr sites:

Other accounts:

Instagram: abeautifulmindwf001 (an IG dedicated to Scorpion)

That’s it for now! 🙂

Analysis and Speculations of Beauty & the Beast 2×19 “Cold Case”

Analysis and Speculations of 
Beauty & the Beast 2×19 “Cold Case”

Before I go on about my review, I have a few announcements.

One) badgerinthetardis11​ and I are a part of a podcast called: Something Bigger: A Nerdcast. We are currently discussing BATB (as it is what’s on TV at the moment) and have completed two episodes thus far! One episode discusses 2×17 “Beast is the New Black” and the second episode discusses 2×18 “Cat and Mouse.”

You may view / listen to the podcasts from the following websites:

YOUTUBE

WIX

FACEBOOK

TWITTER

Two) badgerinthetardis11​ and I have a fanfiction out called “Something Bigger.” Basically, it is a mega-crossover between BATB, Supernatural, Arrow, The Originals, The Vampire Diaries and Smallville. The fanfiction is centered on BATB and SPN while the other fandoms weave in and out of the fanfiction. If you would like to read it, you can click here (x).

Three) Vote for Best and Odd Couples on eOnline.

Best: Vincent & Catherine

Oddest: JT & Tess

And now…the Analysis…

Vincent Keller

Sexy Jay Ryan nailed Vincent Keller’s character once again! With the lack of JT (Austin Basis) in this episode (because he’s mysteriously gone to Boston), Vincent, in my opinion, definitely picked up the comedy in this episode! In my opinion, not only did Ryan have the best lines, but he had the best blocking as well! Even though Vincent did not have a strong appearance in this episode, he really shined the most! He encouraged Catherine (Kristin Kreuk) to tell Heather (Nicole Gale Anderson) the truth about him (beast and all), proving he’s definitely evolved since Season 01. In the first season, Vincent needed Catherine to keep his secret at all cost, but as the first season unfolded, more and more people found out about his beast—including a slew of people: Alex (Bridget Regan), Tess (Nina Lisandrello), Evan Marks (Max Brown) and Gabriel Lowan (Sendhil Ramamurthy). Needless to say, the more Vincent tried to hide in Season 01, the more people slowly found out about him. In the last part of Season 02, Vincent has proven himself to be more trustful of others—at least those who are close to Catherine like her sister, Heather. At the same time, he has lost Gabe’s trust, but who hasn’t in this season, anyway?

Vincent cares for Catherine and loves her enough to realize how much these secrets have taken a toll on her relationship with her younger sister; he’s willing to take the risk in having Heather find out. Though, even when Catherine tells Heather, the younger Chandler sister does not take the news very well—in fact, she thinks her sister has lost her marbles!

In all reality, “Cold Case” may have not only focused on an old case from the first season, but it also centered around Vincent and Heather having sort of a ‘let’s start over’ moment after Catherine’s sister finds out about Vincent’s beast in the worst but possibly the best kind of way.

Vincent has definitely shown how much he wants Catherine in his life, and in order for that to happen, he has realized he needs to be on friendly terms with her younger sister. After all, besides bio-dad, Heather is Catherine’s only family.

Thank you Jay Ryan for giving us an excellent Vincent Keller performance! Now let’s hope next week’s episode shows a little bit more skin than in this last episode. 😉

Catherine Chandler

As usual, Kristin Kreuk DOMINATES Catherine Chandler in this episode of “Cold Case.” I really liked her playful side when she’s with Vincent. In a way, while JT has gone off to Boston, she has kind of taken on the roll as Vincent’s sexy handler (with more than one benefit, of course) by giving him burner phones when he needs them and helping him out. But, of course, Vincent and Catherine can’t help but sneak in a kiss or two every once in a while. Ironically enough, in this episode, Catherine is the one who keeps leaving Vincent behind rather than the other way around.

Silliness aside, Catherine had to confront a very big situation in “Cold Case:” her sister. After lying to Heather (Anderson) for almost two years, it has definitely put a toll on Catherine’s relationship with her sister. While Catherine initially insists on keeping Heather in the dark, Vincent believes it’s time to tell Heather the truth—especially if or when she gets in tight situations like being kidnapped and tossed into a dungeon.

Catherine realizes the danger she has put her sister through by not telling her the truth; therefore, she decides to come clean. However, as stated before, Heather doesn’t take the truth very well. Now Catherine has to figure out how to mend her relationship with Heather along with continue to keep Vincent’s whereabouts a secret from Precinct 125 as well as tracking down a witness of a cold case in order to incriminate Gabe. Catherine certainly has a lot to juggle in “Cold Case,” but she manages to accomplish almost everything on her plate—including letting her sister in on the secret.

ANOTHER WINNER WHEN IT COMES TO KICK-ASS DOMINANCE! 🙂

Not having to lie to Heather anymore is the best present any fugitive beast (wink, wink) can give to his girlfriend, right?

Heather Chandler

Alas, Heather Chandler is not in the dark anymore!

Nicole Gale Anderson really shined in “Cold Case” along with Jay Ryan (fun fact: NGA and JR share the same birthday). Her character, Heather, makes a surprising entrance, totally shocking Catherine (as if the oldest Chandler sister didn’t have enough on her plate already) in the process. Heather has some exciting news, but because Catherine has other things to deal with at the moment, Catherine doesn’t seem to be able to make time for Heather (nothing new, right?). Tired of her sister abruptly leaving in the middle of a sentence and lying through her teeth, Heather decides to do a little bit of investigating on her own.

She goes to the precinct, expecting to find Catherine, but doesn’t. She finds Gabe instead…which, I’m curious, when did they ever meet? Heather was in Miami the whole time Catherine was ‘dating’ (and I use that word very lightly) Gabe…so unless Heather met Gabe sometime during the three months lapse of Catherine finding Vincent, I’m at a total loss. But, we never get everything on camera anyway. Gabe, being the sneaky bastard that he is, decides to use Heather to find out where Catherine is. I’m so glad Heather never made that call to Gabe though. 🙂 It’s not nice to use others for one’s benefit. Naught Gabe! Heather tries to reach Catherine, but gets Tess instead…. Heather grills Tess into telling her the truth, proving she has matured since we’ve last seen her. Tess spills the beans that Catherine has been seeing Vincent, which causes Heather to march off to find her sister and give her a piece of her mind.

One thing happens right after another, and Heather catches Catherine with Vincent. Not being able to handle more lies, she marches off and Catherine chases her as Vincent throws a boot up in the air and sighs, “Well this just keeps getting better and better.” I don’t know if Vincent is amused by the fact that Heather found out about them or if he’s inwardly freaking out, hoping Heather doesn’t alert the authorities. I’m going with the former since he was the one who told Catherine to tell Heather about him in the first place.

As mentioned before, Catherine tells Heather everything, but Heather doesn’t take the truth very well—and they say the truth will set you free. Not in this case….

In the end, Heather ends up being kidnapped by Evil Sheckman Brother #2 in order to lure Vincent into a trap. Vincent finds her and has no choice but to reveal himself to her.

Obviously, a lot of people have to see something in order to believe it as true—that’s very much the case in regards to Heather. Not only seeing Vincent beast-out confirmed to her that her sister wasn’t a crazy whacko but because Vincent saved her, she quickly rules him out as a fugitive and apologizes to him (well, she apologizes to Cat) for all of the judgmental crap she had passed on him in the past.

All seems to be forgiven.

For now.

Tess Vargas

Tess was interesting this episode; she didn’t have much of a role other than accidentally get Catherine and herself suspended as well as spill the beans about Vincent to Heather, but her role was important all the same.

Nina Lisandrello and Austin Basis are usually the stars with the lines; surprisingly, that was not the case in this episode. For once, the writers decided to grace Jay Ryan and Kristin Kreuk with the one-liners, and I really like that change-up. It shows that even the Beauty and the Beast can have their quirky moments.

Tess’s loose lips portrayed that even a strong female character such as herself can have FACEPALM moments. Tess is normally on her guard, but as she helps Cat escape her tail, she briefly loses her awareness and blurts out, “Tell Vincent I said hello.” She doesn’t realize Captain Ward (I think that’s his name) is walking behind her. To make up for her slip-up, she decides to help Cat in one) meeting with Heather and two) bringing the witness to Ray Sheckman’s murder to the precinct. She gains her shield and arms back for helping with the witness (though, I wonder what convinced the captain to let her back on the team and bring in the witness in the first place) and continues to stay on Team Beastie.

Gabe Lowan

Other than the fact that Gabriel Lowan is a lowlife bastard who is willing to do anything to seek revenge on Vincent, there’s not much left to say aside from HIS BEAST IS RETURNING!

That’s right, the beast inside Gabe—whether or not it is DNA related—is becoming more and more evident and as the series continues, Gabe will most likely stay on the path of the dark side. Soon enough, he’s going to be wearing a black suit and a breathing apparatus.

As Vincent pointed out, Gabe is getting desperate. After killing the witness, there’s no telling what he’ll do now. It’s not like he can cover this up like he did with Ray Sheckman.

YOU’VE BEEN OWNED!

VINCAT

Beautiful, funny and perfect as always!

Need I say more?!

Speculations

  • Heather’s fiancé is somehow affiliated with the Big Bad.
  • Heather’s fiancé is a beast.
  • Gabe is and will always still be a beast. His beast reawakened.
  • JT is in Boston for some convention for his professor duties (speaking of which…is he still a professor?)
  • Agent Knox is a good guy who will be a bridge between Vincent and Catherine with the FBI.
  • Vincent will get his exoneration one way or another and Gabe will get booted off the Beastie Island.
  • Gabe will become the next one on the MOST WANTED list.

Questions

  1. Why was JT in Boston?
  2. Why did Gabe make bail? HE MURDERED SOMEONE! (I’m not an expert so someone please enlighten me).
  3. Will Vincent and Catherine ever get their sexy scene?

BEST LINES:

“Wait! I’m here!”

“You’re late!”

____

“I’ve gotta go…”

“Hey, that’s my line.”

____

“I think I liked Gabe better when he was a beast.”

____

“No more secrets…”

____

“You know, I’m never late!”

 

Questions? Comments? Concerns?